What to Do If You Don’t Trust Each Other

After reading this article, we hope that you’ll have a clearer idea of what you can do to build or regain trust in a relationship.

Trust is the foundation of a healthy and happy relationship.

If you don’t trust your partner and have to question them every time they go out or check their phone, then what’s the point of being together? The truth is that a relationship where there is no trust can be exhausting for both parties.

However, what can you do in such a situation? After all, it’s not like you can just be like ‘Oh yeah, I trust you now.’ As simple as that could be, building trust and regaining it after it’s broken is a long process that both you and your partner need to commit to.

So, here are some of the things you can do to find a place for trust in your relationship.

Relationship and Trust 

At this point, you might think – But what does it actually mean to trust someone? Well, trust is, you could say, a two-way street. It’s not only about trusting your partner and their actions, but also about trusting yourself with sticking to your boundaries and your gut instinct.

Some people enter a new relationship with trust issues from the previous one, hoping that the person they are starting over with will give them a reason to trust again. However, the problem is that those who have trust issues often attract people who also have them.

A relationship cannot last without trust for a number of reasons. If you don’t trust your partner, you’re going to question them even about the smallest things, such as going to lunch with a friend, which might lead to many, many arguments that could be omitted.

How to Build Trust In the Relationship

1. Learn to Be Vulnerable and Don’t Disregard Your Feelings

No matter how much you’d want them to, your partner is not a mind reader – they cannot know what is going on inside your head unless you communicate it to them. Don’t hesitate to express what you need. 

Do you need reassurance from your partner? Ask for it. Do you feel insecure whenever they visit a site with sexual content? Let them know and think about what to do about it. Maybe you can visit the site together? It’s always good to spice things up in the bedroom and experiment. Who knows, maybe you’ll find out you enjoy something you haven’t even thought about before. 

Get used to expressing your feelings and allow them to get to know you – let them know how they make you feel, how you want to make them feel. Be open with your fears, hopes, and dreams.

2. Be Honest – Don’t Let the Issues Build Up

Try to find time every once in a while just to sit together and take a look at how things are going in your relationship. If there are any issues, don’t let them build up to the point they will be the only thing you think about – instead, try to fix them as soon as possible.

Start the conversation with “I” – I feel, I wonder, I notice, etc. – and be open about what is bothering you. Have confidence in your own perceptions, and pay attention to red flags.

3. Assume that Your Partner’s Intentions Are Good

If your partner let you down, it might not have been intentional – after all, we are human, and humans make mistakes. Don’t assume straight away that they did it with the intention of hurting you – while it’s okay to question their intentions, and we understand why you would do that, you should also be open to accepting that it might have been just a simple mistake.

4. Listen to Your Partner’s Side of the Story

Keep in mind that there are a lot of honest people in the world. Unless you have very strong reasons to mistrust your partner, have faith in them, and ask about their side of the story. Knowing how the situation looked like from their perspective might help you understand it better and make up your mind in regards to it.

How to Rebuild Trust Once It Has Been Broken

Every relationship goes through different stages – from harmony to disharmony, to repair, to restoration.

However, some people get stuck in disharmony so hard that they either won’t or can’t move to repair. This is not the relationship’s goal – when you’re with someone, you want to move forward together and not backward.

Here are some of the things you can do to repair the trust in your relationship once it’s broken:

• Find time to talk to your partner about how the breach of trust made you feel – name the feelings you have experienced. However, keep in mind not to blame or criticize your partner.
• Listen to your partner without judgment – let them explain the feelings that were triggered by the incident, and do the same. Tell them how it all looked like from your perspective, and let them tell you the story from their point of view.
• Think about how both of you contributed to the incident, and hold yourself accountable.
• If the fault is on both sides, both of you should apologize genuinely.
• Create a plan that will help prevent similar situations from happening in the future.

The Bottom Line

Trust is the foundation of a good relationship. If you don’t have trust, it’s like you have nothing. Without it, being in a relationship can be mentally exhausting not only for you but also for your partner – constant insecurities, questioning of actions, etc., can really take a toll on one’s mental health.

Oh, and remember – there are still good people in this world. Don’t let bad experiences from the past make you believe otherwise. Good luck!