Understanding the Difference Between Sensory Meltdowns and Temper Tantrums

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While tantrums and upsets are a typical part of childhood, there are times when tantrums and meltdowns can be an indicator of development. A study published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics indicates that tantrums can be a first signal of developmental concerns (Van den Akker et al., 2022). Whether the upset is a result of frustration or sensory overload, understanding and monitoring your child’s upsets can help detect potential developmental concerns, and to improve navigating these tricky parenting moments. 

Understanding the difference between temper tantrums and the often-mislabeled sensory meltdown is crucial for parents and caregivers seeking to support the children in their care. While they might look similar, these behaviors have different roots and require unique approaches. Temper tantrums often arise from frustration and a child’s basic need for independence or a desired object. 

A sensory meltdown is a different scenario entirely. Children with sensory processing concerns may overreact to certain stimuli like loud sounds or bright lights. Knowing how to tell these behaviors apart allows for more effective intervention. Parents can then offer the right support, creating a calmer environment for everyone involved. 

Is Your Child’s Behavior Issue a Developmentally Appropriate Temper Tantrum or Due to a Sensory Processing Disorder?

Understanding your child’s behavior is key to providing the right support and intervention. While temper tantrums and sensory meltdowns can appear similar, they have different underlying causes that require distinct responses. Identifying the nature of your child’s behavior can help you react appropriately and with empathy.

Temper tantrums are often associated with the terrible two’s – an age that comes with an increased desire for independence, without the skills to complete tasks independently, nor the language to communicate needs and desires. The result can be loud and disruptive. Throwing themselves on the floor, kicking, screaming, lashing out for seconds, minutes, or even longer, and can be triggered by seemingly small incidences. While all of this is true, it is not limited to the toddler years. At any age levels of frustration can build to a breaking point, where the brain becomes overwhelmed. At times of extreme stress, frustration, anger, or fear the brain shifts into fight or flight mode. This lessens the ability to communicate and control actions, making it harder to communicate and navigate the moment with your child. 

Temper tantrums are a typical part of child development and can occur for various reasons, often as a result of needs or desires not being met. Tantrums are most common in children aged 1 to 4 years. As children grow older and develop better communication skills, the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums should decrease as their control and regulation increases with their development. Common triggers of tantrums include a desire to do something independently, but not having the ability to do so, not getting their way, or challenges in expressing themselves. Tantrums are usually short-lived, often lasting a few minutes. A tantrum typically subsides when the child’s attention can be diverted, or they receive the desired help or outcome,, such as a toy or a snack. By understanding these characteristics, parents can better manage these emotional outbursts and guide children through expressing their needs in healthier ways.

What is Developmentally Appropriate Tantrum Behavior?

While tantrums can feel frequent at young ages, fewer than 5% of children ages 3-5 experience tantrums daily. When upsets become physical more than half of the time, last longer than 25 minutes on average, or happen multiple times per day it may be indicative of a child’s development. (source). Tantrums that are not reducing over time in their frequency, duration, or intensity can also be a sign of possible developmental concerns reducing your child’s tolerance and ability to regulate their reaction and behaviors. 

Unlike tantrums, sensory meltdowns stem from how the brain processes sensory information. Recognizing the signs of sensory processing disorders will help you differentiate them from typical tantrums. Meltdowns that occur as a result of sensory overload can also happen at any age but should reduce over time as development increases, improving the brain’s endurance, efficiency, and control. 

A meltdown related to sensory overload will build as the child is nearing the threshold of what they can tolerate. Keep in mind that it may be hard for the child to identify, or communicate what is overwhelming them – instead, watch for clues in their actions. Signs can include a change in mood or energy, wandering away or disengaging from an activity, increased agitation, flushed face, becoming loud, whiny, or crying. Some kids may seek deep sensory input to calm the body which can result in hitting, kicking, stomping, or other big movements. Blocking or avoiding sensory stimulation by covering the ears, head, or eyes, or wanting to remove shoes or clothing is also common when sensory processing thresholds have become too much. 

Why Sensory Processing Can Becoming Overwhelming 

Processing sensory input is something we do all day, every day. Taking in the sights, sounds, and smells around us provides us with information about what is happening around us, allowing us to learn, engage, and interact with our environment. 

Not everyone experiences sensory input in the same way. Even the same person can tolerate sensory information different on different days based on their levels of fatigue and load – the more you need to process at once, the higher the load on the brain.

Some people experience heightened sensory input. This means they may experience sound, touch, texture, taste, or even light more amplified than others. This can be both stressful and fatiguing to the brain. This can present with a child wanting to avoid tags, textures, loud noises, or crowded places, and can result in increased levels of worry or anxiety. 

Other times people can experience diminished or delayed sensory input – which requires more stimuli for the information to register in the brain, or more time to register the information. This can result in disruptions in what is seen, heard, or experienced. This child may be sensory seeking – wanting bigger input, frequently asking, “What?” or needing instructions repeated. This child may be louder and more active and may disregard personal space or boundaries with others. This can also be fatiguing to the brain as it seeks to fill in the gaps from missing information.  

Taking in, processing, and responding to sensory input comes at a cost. It requires energy for the brain to process and respond to this information. When the brain becomes fatigued or overwhelmed the brain will seek to reduce the amount of load it is experiencing. 

Not all sensory input requires the same amount of energy to process. The first time you experience anything, comes at a higher cost to the brain. When the brain does not know what to expect, it is on high alert. This allows the brain to take in as much information as possible. Then over time, with repeated exposure to an experience the brain starts to recognize what information is important, and what information can be disregarded. This allows the brain to become more efficient in the future and is a part of the learning process. 

A meltdown related to sensory input can persist until the sensory stimuli is altered, and the brain and body have time to recover and re-set.“Understanding the markers of a sensory meltdown can help caregivers identify disruptions in sensory processing creating an overwhelmed and fatigued brain. Identifying this creates an opportunity to foster optimal brain development, to improve sensory processing, while creating an environment appropriate to the child’s sensory needs at any given moment” says a leader at Brain Balance™, an organization known for its brain-based program that builds and strengthens the brain to enhance development, which includes sensory processing and emotional regulation.. “Supporting a child starts with understanding and an action plan for support.”

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Anatomy of a Temper Tantrum

Understanding the anatomy of a temper tantrum is crucial for caregivers and loved ones who encounter these emotional outbursts. While they can be testing, tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development, as long as they continue to reduce over time. Let’s break down what typically causes them, what they look like, and how they are resolved.

Temper tantrums often arise from a child’s frustration. Imagine not being able to convey what you want—it’s bound to create tension. Some common triggers include fatigue, hunger, and unmet needs or desires. These triggers highlight an inability to navigate strong feelings or situations. Recognizing them can help in potentially preventing future tantrums.

During a tantrum, a child might display several clear behavioral indicators akin to a storm brewing—loud and hard to ignore. These may include a vocal release of emotion, crying, physical expressions of frustration, and throwing objects in anger.

These actions don’t come packaged neatly. They’re outbursts of pent-up feelings that can shake a household. Understanding these behaviors helps in recognizing a tantrum in action. Tantrums are often short-lived, like a brief summer storm. They generally last between 5 to 10 minutes, though some can extend longer. Sometimes, acknowledging a child’s feelings helps them calm down.

Once the child’s cause of frustration is addressed, or their need is fulfilled, peace often returns. Although the more upset the child becomes, the longer it takes to return to a state of calm. Redirecting attention can ease tension quickly. 

When kids are young they are often unable to navigate an upset on their own. As a parent, you can help guide them in regulating their mood and behaviors through your supportive actions. Remaining calm, quiet, and gentle helps to create a safe and calm environment for them, helping expedite their ability to return to calm. Raising your voice to talk over their cries, or becoming more aggressive in your tone or body language can push the child further into a state of upset. 

Strategies include sitting quietly with them, holding, rocking, or rubbing their back, or quietly singing can provide calming stimulation and distractions. Modeling taking deep, calming breaths, and using minimal words as they return to calm can be helpful in moving through the upset faster. 

It is also important to acknowledge their frustration and emotions which bring awareness to their feelings. After your child is calm, demonstrating appropriate ways to communicate or demonstrate their frustration can help to teach effective strategies for processing and communicating emotions.

Anatomy of a Sensory Meltdown

Sensory meltdowns can be mystifying, both for the individual going through them and their loved ones. While they might seem similar to temper tantrums, the triggers can differ. Understanding these differences can help support and guide those experiencing them. 

For those with sensory sensitivities, certain triggers can lead to a meltdown. Common scenarios that might cause sensory overload include loud noise, crowded spaces, and bright lights. Understanding these triggers is vital in creating environments that minimize sensory overload and help maintain calm.

During a sensory meltdown, behaviors can vary. Unlike tantrums, these reactions are not about frustration, independence, or getting what the individual wants. They are reactions to overwhelming stimuli. Signs to look for include withdrawal, screaming, and physical responses such as kicking, flapping, or lying on the ground. Recognizing these behaviors allows for a compassionate response, helping to support the individual without exacerbating the situation.

Differentiating sensory meltdowns from tantrums is crucial. Unlike tantrums, which often stop when the desired outcome is achieved, meltdowns continue until the overload is managed. They require awareness and understanding. 

What can be Done to Address Sensory Meltdowns?

Sensory meltdowns can be overwhelming for both the child experiencing them and the caregivers managing them. Unlike temper tantrums, these meltdowns occur due to sensory overload, and understanding how to handle them can make a world of difference. Calming a child during a sensory meltdown requires patience and understanding. 

Tips to Avoid a Sensory Meltdown:

Implementing a plan prior to an overwhelming sensory event can be helpful. Ensuring your child is well-rested, and well-fed equips the brain and body with optimal energy and resources to process the sensory input. Providing quiet time with minimal sensory input prior to the event can help provide more time before the brain reaches the point of being overwhelmed. Create a plan to provide sensory breaks while at the event – taking a few minutes to step away from noise and crowds can help the child tolerate the event longer. Realize that new events and experiences will be more fatiguing the familiar experiences, so planning to stay for less time can help to avoid the moment of meltdown. 

Tips to Implement While Experiences A Sensory Processing Meltdown:

Reduce sensory input. Dim the lights and reduce noise. Shift away from other people and chaos. A quieter and less cluttered space can help the child regain composure. 

Speak with a soft tone of voice, using minimal words. “It’s okay, I’m here with you.” This is not the time to engage in conversation or to present consequences or motivation strategies. This is the time to reduce sensory input to calm the brain and body.

Provide a light hand on the head, or back, or comforting hug or a weighted blanket, which can have a calming effect for some individuals. Encourage slow and deep breathing, which can help to re-engage the calming mechanisms in the brain. Designate a specific area that is familiar to the child so to avoid adding additional sensory load at a time when they are already feeling overwhelmed.

Be patient. It can take 20-45 minutes for the brain and body to fully calm and re-set. Allow your child this time to re-set. Once they are calm providing a healthy snack can provide additional fuel for the brain to process input can help to support improved mood and tolerance. 

A short nap or a few minutes of physical activity are additional strategies to provide the brain a positive burst of energy.

Avoiding the use of screens during this time is recommended. While it is tempting to allow the child time with headphones with a device on their own, the additional input can actually be fatiguing to the brain. Instead, provide other opportunities for quiet, independent play. Paper and crayons, a book, legos, and toy cars are all simple activities that can be done independently. 

These strategies can help avoid, minimize, and ease the intensity of a meltdown and bring some peace to the child. 

Professional support plays a crucial role in addressing sensory processing challenges. Sensory processing is related to development and should improve over time. Disruptions in sensory processing are an indicator of immaturity in aspects of development, creating complications in life. Interventions and programs targeting development and sensory integration can help to mature both sensory processing and behaviors. Occupational therapy, for example, focuses on improving a child’s ability to process sensory information effectively. Brain Balance is another example of an integrative program that improves development, sensory processing, and behaviors by strengthening key brain regions. Therapeutic interventions are important stepping stones towards managing sensory challenges more effectively.

Equipping children with age-appropriate development is essential for their long-term well-being. Being aware of your child’s developmental abilities, and tolerance to sensory input is critical to supporting their well-being. Over time, working with your child to recognize when they are feeling tired or overwhelmed can provide a sense of comfort and control. Helping to demonstrate ways kids can learn to self-calm when they start to feel anxious can also be helpful. This can include physical exercise, deep breathing, counting to ten, or using a stress ball. 

Understanding the difference between sensory meltdowns and temper tantrums is crucial for effective support and management. While they may appear similar, their causes and triggers may differ, requiring a different approach to avoid or minimize the tantrum or upset. Sensory meltdowns are often tied to overload from sensory stimuli, requiring a calm environment and minimizing sensory inputs. Conversely, temper tantrums stem from emotional frustration and often resolve with distraction, orfulfillment of a need. Recognizing these differences empowers caregivers and loved ones to provide the right interventions and support.

Van den Akker AL, Hoffenaar P, Overbeek G. Temper Tantrums in Toddlers and Preschoolers: Longitudinal Associations with Adjustment Problems. J Dev Behav Pediatr. 2022 Sep 1;43(7):409-417. doi:10.1097/DBP.0000000000001071.