Splitsville for Couples: is Divorce a Bad Thing? How Does It Affect Children?

Everyone gets married with the hope that the marriage will last forever. But sometimes the couple cannot live together for multiple reasons and prefer to undergo a divorce. Divorce can be a life-altering decision for the individuals in question and has a profound effect on children as well.

Divorce is a stressful life event that can adversely affect the couple involved negatively. If children are involved, they feel uprooted and may blame themselves for the divorce of their parents. One needs a lot of strength to cope with divorce as it can have added financial pressure plus the added responsibility of single parenting. Individuals experience depression lack of self-esteem and loneliness and children are also negatively affected by divorce.

Impact of divorce on a couple

• The ex-partners have added financial load and additional duties to perform due to a lack of support.
• They show anxiety, depression, and increased emotional outbursts, and may blame themselves for the chaos in their own life.
• They may have feelings of loneliness anger, and helplessness and may fall into bad company or substance abuse.
• Performance at work gets affected and they can develop stress-related health problems.
• Women have a loss of identity as a wife and a mother and need to develop new social roles for themselves.

Some physical ill effects of divorce

• Divorced men have a higher mortality rate than married men.
• They are at a greater risk for heart disease, cancer, and obesity.
• They have a weak immune system that makes them prone to colds and coughs.
• There is tremendous fluctuation in weight for both men and women.
• Divorced people have more strokes and heart attacks as compared to married individuals.

On the contrary, in some cases like an abusive marriage or a toxic partner, the ex-partners may blossom in their newfound singlehood. Some individuals adapt and cope better and can refocus on building a better life when negativity is removed.

Impact of divorce on kids

• Kids experience a gamut of emotions when their parents get divorced. They sometimes feel confused, anxious, fearful, sad, and frustrated. This can result in self-blame, guilt, or rebellious behavior. 
• Overtime children adjust to the new situation of single parenting or co-parenting but may have commitment and trust issues in their adult life.
• Children may stop participating in group activities in school.
• Their grades may slip and they may become victims of bullying.
• They may blame one of the parents for the divorce.
• They experience financial insecurity and a lack of emotional support as compared to a normal family where both parents are present.
• As adults children from divorced families may have a pessimistic view of marriage.
• They may tend to substance abuse, premarital sex, and having a child out of wedlock.
• They are likely to have increased permissive behavior towards sexuality.

Coping with divorce for adults and children

• Adults need the support of their families to cope with this life-changing situation. They need moral and emotional support to start life anew without a partner.
• Individuals need not shy away from talking to a counselor to ease their pain till the time they can freely talk about their divorce without getting emotional.
• If children are involved, partners need to talk to each other without hostility and share parenting responsibilities amicably for the child’s sake.
• If parents are friendly and on talking terms, the child can grow in a stress-free environment.
• Parents must help children sort out their feelings by providing a safe environment where they can speak out their emotions and feelings without being judged. Do not rush them but let them take their time to do this at their own pace.
• Avoid talking ill of your partner since he is still the parent of your child. Don’t abuse them or blame them for the divorce.
• Tap into your family or friends to help with child care, and financial support if necessary.
• Take up a relaxing hobby like painting or yoga to collect your thoughts and take a positive and calm view of every situation.

The negative consequences may not occur in all children or adults following a divorce. In some cases, it turns out partners are at ease after a divorce. They progress in their career and develop a new self-identity. They may make new friends and thrive in a positive social environment. Children blossom in a stress-free environment and grow into adults with well-rounded personalities. Divorce is a huge step and creates a stressful situation for both partners and children as well. Individuals must take time to cope with their emotions and emerge stronger to handle a changed life scenario and not consider divorce as the end of life as they know it.

Recommended Articles:

• How to Avoid Divorce and Breakups: Tips for a Successful Relationship
• Going Through a Divorce? 5 Tips for Caring for Your Mental Health
• Critical Steps That Can Help Stop a Divorce

References:

Separation and Divorce: The Impact on Couple, Kids & Extended Family, retrieved from Marriage. https://www.marriage.com/advice/separation/separation-and-divorce/

Effects of Divorce: The Hidden Consequences on Men and Women, retrieved from Right Lawyers. https://rightlawyers.com/divorce-may-affect-health/

How Does Divorce Impact the Mental Health of Couples? retrieved from Talk to Angel. https://www.talktoangel.com/blog/how-does-divorce-impact-the-mental-health-of-couples/

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