How to Deal with Grief in a Healthy Way

Dealing with any kind of grief is challenging. For example, when you experience the death of a loved one in a sudden way such as in a car accident, that’s tragic, and it can take a long time for your brain to understand it. There’s also grief that occurs after a loved one deals with a long illness, and while it’s no less painful it can feel different. 

There’s even grief that doesn’t involve a death, but it can feel like it does. For example, many people grieve following a divorce or the end of another long – term relationship. 

Understand That What You’re Feeling Is Normal and Also Won’t Last Forever

When we experience loss, it’s normal to experience grief. Sometimes, we want to be tough on ourselves over it, but it’s okay and healthy to experience grief in and of itself. It’s normal that the feelings surrounding grief and accompanying it can make normal, everyday tasks seem very challenging. 

Also, while sadness is the feeling we most often link to grief, it’s not the only one, and we all experience grief differently. It’s also normal to experience a range of emotions when you’re grieving. 

For example, grief can lead to feelings of anger, guilt, anxiety, and fatigue.

For some people being mad is easier than being sad, and grief is often intertwined with feelings of being vulnerable and powerless. 

There is also anticipatory grief and traumatic grief, which is something that was briefly touched on above. Anticipatory grief is when you expect something and, in many ways grieve before you lose a person. 

Anticipatory grief does allow you the opportunity to say goodbye or other important things, while a traumatic death or loss doesn’t. 

Just acknowledging and accepting your feelings are important parts of the healthy grieving process. 

Fill the Emptiness with Something Positive

Grief leaves you with a void, and that’s also a normal feeling. Look for positive things you can do to fill that void. 

Your life may look very different now, so try to find compelling ways to shape it, rather than giving fully into the void. 

Maybe you find a new friend or relationship, do volunteer work, travel, or find a hobby you enjoy doing. 

Learn From the Experience

Loss in life is inevitable, and as hard as it can be to realize at the moment, it can bring us some of our most valuable lessons. Every loss is going to have a lesson, so work on identifying what that is and being aware of it.

Make it part of your life and grow from it, as much as you may not want to. 

View the Period As Temporary

If you participate in cognitive behavioral therapy during this time, your therapist may encourage you to focus on your loss as something temporary in your life, rather than something permanent. 

It’s a period of your life and a difficult one, but your focus and efforts should be on learning a lesson from it and then moving forward. 

Look at the positive things in your life and make those where you put your energy and attention when you’re ready. 

This doesn’t mean you forget your loss, but rather that you’ve accepted it. 

Seek Support

We often have the idea when we’re facing loss that we want to be strong, and that’s the way to deal with it. That may work for some, but not others. 

Either way, you need support during this time. Support can look in different ways.

For example, maybe your support system during this time isn’t about your family as much. They may also be feeling the effects of the same loss you are. 

Perhaps instead, you turn to friends outside of the situation or a therapist. You might even find a support group offers you the solace you need right now. 

You need face-to-face support from other people to heal from the loss. 

You don’t necessarily have to express all the feelings you’re having, but just knowing you have these relationships and interactions can be a valuable and healthy part of the grieving process. 

Finally, many people find value is physically releasing their emotions through exercise, dance, or other physical activities. It gives them an outlet that’s not about emotions but still lets them deal with emotions. Maybe you decide to start training for a marathon or take up yoga during this time, and it can provide you an outlet and an important form of physical release.