Coping with the End of Your Marriage: A Guide 

When a relationship comes to an end, it is often one of the most stressful and painful experiences for not only the couple but their family and friends too. It is not an understatement to say that the end of a marriage can be psychologically and emotionally traumatic. 

No two marriage breakups are the same and everyone will cope with the practicalities and intense emotions differently, but there are some methods and approaches you can adopt to minimize your pain in the long run. In this guide, you will find some helpful tips and advice which may help you to cope with the end of your marriage. 

Give yourself time to grieve

Many psychologists liken the end of a committed relationship to the death of a loved one as it is the death of a future you had envisioned for yourself, your partner, and any children. You are likely to be experiencing an intense feeling of mourning such as denial, sadness and then anger before you eventually move onto acceptance. It’s important that you express your emotions and give yourself the opportunity to grieve before trying to move on. 

Try to stop arguing

Whatever has happened between you and your ex, if you are still keeping the arguments and accusations around, you may as well still be married. It’s natural for there to be a period of calling each other out on bad behavior, past mistakes and placing blame, but the sooner you can bring an end to this, the happier you will be. 

When you feel the urge to rise to an argument or attack, take a deep breath and enjoy that you no longer need to engage with them. If you have financial assets to divide and child arrangements to finalize, hiring a divorce lawyer will help to resolve these issues with minimal conflict with your ex. Finding divorce advice in Bristol as soon as possible helps to formalize the process and prevent messy arguments. 

Express your feelings with people you trust

You are going to experience a range of complex and intense feelings, especially if the end of your marriage has come about as a result of someone’s actions (e.g., infidelity). You need to be able to talk about your feelings, but this should not be your children, your ex or a stranger. 

A trusted family member, friend or therapist is the best person to listen to you and support you as you process your emotions so you don’t need to bottle them up. 

Protect your children from conflict

It’s incredibly important that you minimize how exposed your children are to the conflict between you and the other parent. Try not to criticize your ex in front of them or discuss the details of why you can no longer live together as a family. Your children will be upset and confused, but you can help them by ensuring they know they are loved by both parents and that they will still have a secure family unit, even if they now have two homes. 

Look after yourself 

Don’t underestimate the importance of self-care during this difficult time. Eating a balanced and nutritious diet, drinking plenty of water, getting some exercise and sleeping well will give you the emotional and physical resilience you need to cope as well as possible. Take time to do what relaxes you and makes you feel good about yourself, whether that’s a luxurious bubble bath, a pedicure or manicure, a spa day or coffee with friends.