4 Things To Expect At Your First Couples Counseling Session

In the first few months of your marriage, love will prevail. Both you and your partner may be on the same page with your relationship, and everything seems to be going smoothly and as normal as you intend it to be. In time, however, you might have noticed that your marriage is now more problematic than it is a bed of roses. While your first instinct might be to brush your marriage aside and give up, there’s still hope. And, this begins with submitting to couples counseling.

So, you’ve decided to give your marriage another try and submit to couples counseling. This is, without a doubt a good choice. But it can also be one filled with a lot of doubts and anxiety on those days leading to your first session. One of the questions you might find yourself consistently asking relates to what you should expect at your first couples counseling session.

Well, you can rest those doubts now as this article gives you a list of four things you can expect from your first couples counseling session.

1. Your Counselor’s First Task Is To Make You Comfortable

Before you go full force with your counseling sessions, one of the first few tasks your counselor will first have to do is to make you as comfortable as possible. This is basic, given that comfort and ease between the client and the counselor form a strong foundation of productive couples counseling sessions.

When couples meet with a therapist, it’s expected that the discussions can often be very personal and difficult to discuss. In fact, not many are also comfortable talking to a stranger about personal issues or problems they’re going through.

So, think of those first few sessions as your getting to know you phase. Your counselor will ask you light questions to get a glimpse of your background and personality. Then, they’ll take it from there to move on to the more difficult discussions later on.

2. Your Counselor Will Discuss Specific Issues You Might Tackle

Talking with your counselor or therapist can be likened to meeting with a friend. You’ll be opening up to each other, in the hopes that your therapist’s experience can help improve your relationship. Each session is aimed at strengthening your relationship and developing better ways of communicating any concerns and issues you might have as a couple.

Your therapist will open you up to the reality that the following issues are going to be discussed:

• Any disagreements regarding the rearing of children;
• Infidelity;
• Anger management problems;
• Alcoholism and substance abuse;
• Sexual issues and concerns;
• Communication problems;
• Family and in-law relationship problems.

3. You’ll Be Asked To Give Out Your Love Story

No matter how much you dread or hate talking about your love story, this is something you’ll have to walk through with your therapist, usually during your first session. Your therapist will ask you to walk her through the early stages of your love story and up until the present.

This is very important, so your therapist can have an honest and clear assessment of the problem areas. Remember that your therapist doesn’t know you personally. He or she only has a background in how to deal with relationship issues – not your personal problems. 

Be ready to openly talk and discuss all the details of how your relationship was like. If there are any emotions that may come along the way, don’t withhold yourself from expressing and feeling those emotions. The more you can express yourself and let those out, the better it will be, for a good start with your therapy sessions.

4. You’ll Be Given A Brief Background On The Techniques To Be Used

In your first session, your counselor is going to give you a brief background on the techniques that’ll be used during the whole couples counseling session. Different counselors each have their respective approaches. And, the chosen approach will also depend on what your specific marital or relationship problems are.

Your counselor won’t start without first giving you a background on the approaches they’re going to use. That way, you’ll also have a clear idea as to what you should expect during those sessions. 

Along that line, some of the most common techniques include:

• Teaching anger management;
• Uncovering the real cause of the distress;
• Looking at any past experiences which may have damaged your relationship.

Conclusion

With the list of what to expect above, you should now be feeling more confident that you can smoothly navigate through your first couples counseling session. Don’t worry if you feel like the first session didn’t go as smoothly as you initially planned. This is expected, given the state of emotions you’re in. Eventually, however, the sessions and days will get better. When you get to be comfortable with the dynamics of your counselor, you’ll find yourself looking forward to each counseling session in the coming days.